Saturday, March 05, 2005

HUGH!, the musical.

Hugh Hewitt (center) mentioned on his show yesterday that he and his team should begin a National Tour of a Broadway musical. Now, given my professional background, I took this as a personal challenge. I will find the right vehicle and assemble a first class touring production booked entirely in Red State Venues. I'm going to need some help, though. I'm not sure what show would work best. One sees this picture and is tempted to go for the easy laugh with La Cage aux Folles, but I'm afraid French titles won't appeal to our target audience. Please e-mail me (and Hugh) your Broadway Musical suggestions along with the cast list. Posted by Hello
Update... March 7, 2005. 8:01 PM

Hugh Miserables??


JMNR said...

Two suggestions for the Hewitt musical:

Jane Eyre (the musical). . .

Why? Family values triumph, but only after a crazy woman in the attic nearly kills our hero, Rochester. Red state voters will catch the clear Clinton warning here. (Note the subtle reference to up state New York’s best city.)

Of course, I have also written a musical RMS Titanic. But I would not be low enough to mention that.

At all.


Jim Belna said...



FINCH (Hugh Hewitt)
Our hero. A young man whose meteoric progress from law professor to blogmaster owes little to his qualifications and much to his wits, single-mindedness and the aid of a good instruction manual.

ROSEMARY (Fetching Mrs)
Our heroine. A fetching young woman of above-average qualifications, who unfortunately set her career sights on being Mrs Finch.

J.B. BIGGLEY (John Carroll - LA Times Publisher)
President of the World Wide Fishwrap Company. A ruthless, consequently successful, businessman, though oblivious to the fact that he is out of touch with the industry he used to rule.

BUD FRUMP (James Lileks)
An obnoxious young man who can't make it to the top in spite of his devious machinations and family connections.

HEDY LA RUE (K. J. Lopez)
The femme fatale. Ex-night-club cigarette girl, would-be blogger under the boss's protection.

SMITTY (Generalissimo Duane)
A big-hearted, if cynical, working girl. A good secretary and likely to remain just that.

BRATT (The Unblinking Eye)
The Personnel Manager, adept in the main skill required for holding his job - agreeing with the boss.

MR TWIMBLE (Jay Larson)
An example of how not to succeed; a loyal company man with 25 years' service spent climbing from mail-room worker to head of the mail-room.

GATCH (David Dreier)
An almost-successful executive with a fatal penchant for maintaining his seat on the House Rules Committee.

MR WOMPER (Rush Limbaugh)
A highly successful man with a small stature but the biggest job-Chairman.

THE BOOK VOICE (Charles Johnson)
Our hero's unseen mentor.

(Cast descriptions borrowed from "The Guide to Musical Theater" website.)

Break a leg!

Barbara Paden said...

Love the idea of Hugh the Musical. I don't have a cast of characters but I would like to pitch a song from "Guys and Blogs" loosely based on the battle of good and evil played out in Guys and Dolls. A trio, sung to the tune of "I've Got The Horse Right Here".

(enter Hugh, cue music)
I've got the blog right here
my words are most sincere
I make the loony lefties run in fear

It's HUGH!
It's HUGH!
I want to be the Pres of CU!
Oh what I can make snowmobiles do!
It's Hugh, It's Hugh.

There's more, unfortunately. The trio ultimately includes James Lileks and the chorus of Fraters Libertas. But my real job awaits. I'll leave you longing for more.... :)

Anonymous said...

Either "Of Thee I Sing" or "Let Them Eat Cake" By George Gershwin

Hugh: John P. Wintergreen
The Fetching Mrs. Hewitt: Mary Turner
Barbara Demick: Diana Devereaux
Tarzana Joe: Alexander Throttlebottom
Emmete of the Unblinking Eye: Louis Lippman
Peeps: Francis X. Gilhooley
Peter Beinart: Sam Jenkins
Kathryn Jean Lope: Miss Benson
Erwin Chemerinsky: The Chief Justice
The Smart Guys and the Beltway Boys: The Supreme Court
Terry Eastland: Tour Guide
John Podhoretz: French Ambassador
Claudia Rosett: Chambermaid

Anonymous said...

For the stories, music and setting, how about:

Desert Song
Naughty Marietta
New Moon

And, fitting for your cruise, a cut down version for a stage show based on The Student Prince

Svolich said...

Sweeney Blog.

Tarzana Joe said...

While Throttlebottom is a good comic part...most of the comedy is at his expense. I see myself more as a Billy Flynn from CHICAGO. Of course that show doesn't exactly fit the rest of the Hugh Crew.

Christian said...

Hmmmm, Hel-lo Hewitt, this is Hugh, Hewitt... just saying.

Larry O'C said...

Girl in Right has posted the complete lyrics to "I've Got the Blog Right Here" from "Guys and Blogs" on her entertaining blog.

Colorado in the HOUSE!

Mark C. said...

Hey, I just discovered your blog after seeing Hugh's site. I'm not real good on knowing my musicals, but maybe it could be titled: "Don't Cry for me, (fill in name of one of Hugh's guests or a leading Democrat who is sulking). or use a song or two from Annie: "The Sun Will Come out Tomorrow." This could be a musical to cheer up the liberal left. I guess these were kind of silly, but I just thought that I would chime in. Be well.

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